As the tides turn
by littlesackpers0n
Summary: Lizzington. Post Season 2 finale. Liz and Red are on the run. They must hide themselves until the dust settles, so they will have to learn how to live together. An isolated beach as a catalyst of catharsis and self-knowledge.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I own nothing.

 **A/N:** It takes place right after Season 2 finale. This might become M-rated, but not yet. - Thanks to mylla88, always willing to help, and to V., for the huge help and patience.

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It had been three days since her world crashed down. The Cabal achieved its goal, and Elizabeth Keen was officially a criminal to the U.S. Justice. They didn't plan on her taking down one of their puppets, but it served well to the general purpose. There was no way back to the life she once knew.

She had to run, run away from it all. The only thing that remained the same was Raymond Reddington by her side.

When the Cabal started their movement against her, Red was willing to help clear her name so Liz wouldn't need to live on the run as he had been doing for almost half of his life. It didn't work, they had no real chance of clearing her name, Tom Connelly made it abundantly clear. Not only would she be chased down, but all of her friends, and her colleagues on the task force as well. Most of all, Raymond Reddington would be sentenced to the death penalty. Running away wasn't a choice anymore.

If there was a bright side it was that she wasn't leaving anything behind. No Sam, no husband, and the few friends she had never cared to know how she was doing after Tom left. Even when he came back for her, it felt more like a selfish act than something done for her benefit. He claimed to be Jacob, someone who had been on the run since he was fourteen and the only person who ever cared about him was Liz. Tom wanted her to flee with him - he had been promising to leave for months, but he only left when she truly needed an ally. It didn't matter anyway; even if Liz still nurtured any feelings for him, the man she loved never existed.

There wasn't much to leave behind. As soon as they were left alone together, Reddington told her that everything she knew about her own life was a lie. He wasn't wrong. He turned her life upside down, but he had been the one person capable and willing to give her answers about things that haunted her since her childhood. It was not an easy relationship, but she could see that Red was ready to do whatever it took not only to keep her alive, but to make sure she had a life she deserved. He was her sin eater.

The white van came to pick them up. They spent three hours driving until they arrived at a small airport. She slept the entire ride and had no idea where they were, in the last few days Liz had barely slept. They flew out of the country with Red's regular crew, but not on his jet - apparently the escape plan required a rented plane. There wasn't much talk during the flight-Reddington was unusually silent and Lizzie didn't have much to talk about, but she did have a lot of thinking to do. She was only brought back to reality a few times by Red suddenly jolting awake in his seat.

The jet reached Brazilian soil a few hours before dawn. They landed on a seaside city called Salvador, where a packed SUV was waiting for them. It was weird for Liz getting inside a car with Raymond Reddington and seeing him assuming the seat behind the wheel. There was no sign of Dembe since he dropped Red at the extraction point where Liz was waiting.

"I can drive if you need to rest. I noticed you had some troubled sleep back in the jet" Liz offered to take his place, since she probably wouldn't be able to sleep.

"It was a good night's sleep to be frank, you don't need to worry. And you may not believe me but I _do know_ how to drive" Red completed jocosely, his sarcasm was the only thing keeping his tired face from looking ten years older. "You should try to rest. I don't think you have since we got on the jet."

"I'm fine," she answered looking as tired as he was.

Reddington drove in silence for about half an hour until reaching a gas station. He pointed to a bag in the backseat.

"There's a change of clothes in that bag for you, if you'd like to freshen up."

Liz was going to repeat the dull "I'm fine" when she noticed she was still wearing Tom's black T-shirt. She reconsidered her previous decision, took the bag and looked for some place to change her clothes. Inside the bag, there was a blouse, jeans, a hoodie, sneakers and underwear. It was a little disturbing imagining Raymond Reddington telling someone how to buy her panties, but she put that thought away, imagining that probably (and hopefully) Mr. Kaplan was the one to give the directions. She put on everything and got back to the car where Red was waiting for her, drinking from a plastic cup and holding another one.

"I brought you some coffee, since you don't seem like taking a nap." Liz smiled and accepted the drink. It had been awhile since she put something into her stomach, and her body instantly welcomed the sweet hot liquid. "There wasn't much to eat, but we're going to have breakfast soon."

They got back on the road for another hour, and reached an off-road track. Thirty minutes passed until they arrived at a fence with a gate, and ten minutes later they arrived in their shelter. It was an isolated two pavement house, placed 250 feet from the sea, between them was only the fence and a golden strip of sand lit by the sun hovering above the Atlantic Ocean.

Liz sighed contently, it looked like a good place to be. She didn't noticed Red was staring at her, as she was mesmerized by the view. He got out of the car and Liz remembered she should do the same. She watched Red placing his hands on the low of his back, stretching and grumbling. He actually did know how to drive, however, he definitely wasn't used to doing it. She came around the car to help with whatever had to be carried. Red hesitated but gave her some smaller things to move into the house.

As the two of them reached the door, it opened and an old woman appeared with a large smile on her face.

"Raymund," she greeted with an accent, hugging Reddington and turning herself to Liz. "This must be your Liz, welcome dear!" She hugged Liz tightly, as she had done to Red. She took the packages Liz was carrying. " _Entrem_! Come on in! Que saudades, I missed you dear, I've been wondering when you'd come back here, then I got the call."

Liz and Red entered the house and found breakfast settled on the dinner table. There were juices, fruits, breads, cheese, cake, coffee, and milk on the table. Red inhaled deeply and soundly and went straight to the kitchen. He opened the oven to check.

"Oh, Teca, I can't believe you made pão de queijo! Lizzie, you must try these," he said reaching one of the beige loaves.

"Let me put those on the table, Raymund. Sit and I'll bring them to you," she ordered, Red gave Liz an almost childish smile. The two of them sat down and Teca brought a basket with the small loaves.

"Orange juice?" He asked showing her the jar. She accepted the chivalry and he continued. "They're made of cassava flour and there's cheese in the dough. And Teca's are particularly wonderful!" Red took a bite and moaned. Liz was starving and that bread truly was a delight.

She didn't talk much, but ate as much as she could. It wasn't the breakfast she was used to, but it was too good not to be eaten. Red kept talking to Teca, discussing how her family was and what they should do during their stay. The lady assured him that he had nothing to worry about and told Reddington and Liz to take a shower to refresh after their long journey and rest, she would prepare lunch so they could eat after recovering properly.

Lizzie was enchanted by the place. The large room was organized in three parts. At one side there was a small office: a bookshelf covering the entire north wall, filled with books and all kinds of records. It was contiguous to the living room, with a comfortable couch, two armchairs and a media center, a television, and different sound systems. Next to the cozy kitchen was the dining room where they had breakfast. The entire east wall was made of glass, so you could see the ocean from any place of the room. Near the table were stairs and a lavatory. On the other side of the glass wall there was a deck decorated with dining and seating sets, plus two chaise lounges facing the beach.

Raymond led Liz upstairs. There were three bedrooms on the upper floor, each one with private bathrooms and one independent bathroom. He showed her her room and stopped by its door, explaining everything she would need in those first days was already in her room, but if Liz needed anything else she had just to ask him or Teca.

"I believe you noticed there's not much around, but we can go to some of the nearby villages or even go back to Salvador if you need something that can't be found around here." Liz limited her response to a nod. She didn't know what to say or what to feel in that situation. She ran away from home when she was a teenager, but her new situation had nothing in common with a teen's outbreak. "I hope you're not feeling like a prisoner in here. When the dust has settled, we'll begin a new dynamic. Until then, we must stay as off the grid as possible. I can't jeopardize your safety."

"I understand there's not much we can do now," Liz responded. "Even with Connolly dead and the Cabal still organizing some kind of response to the Fulcrum content being outed, my trail—our trail must go cold until we can move again." She sounded resigned, but she was right.

"Is there something I can do for you now?" The words came out of his mouth on a deeper tone as he moved his body near hers.

"I guess we both need some sleep," Liz answered. Red's semblance turned almost to a disappointed one. He stared at her eyes and took a step back, nodded and entered the next room, closing the door behind him.

Elizabeth found inside her room everything she would need in her stay. There were clothes, underwear, flip flops, another pair of sneakers, flats, black boots, a pair of sandals, bathing suits, and more cosmetics than she probably ever bought in her entire life. There were several kinds of pads and tampons, what made Liz imagine if it was Red being thoughtful, or Teca, or any other woman.. Her marriage lasted two years but Tom never managed to buy her pads even if along those years she had always used only one brand.

She headed to the bathroom, the clean clothes Red provided her in the car came at the right time, but she really needed a bath. She spent over half an hour in the shower, as if she was washing her old life away. "This is an end. And then something new will begin," Red once told her. For sure it was a new beginning, for better or for worse.

Liz wrapped a towel around her body, another around her head, and went back to the bedroom. The sun was higher in the sky, it was almost 10 AM, but there were heavy clouds over the ocean. She went out on the balcony to enjoy the view, but she saw more than she expected. Lizzie saw Red coming out of the water wearing shorts, farther than the south end of the house. He grabbed a sweatshirt from the sand and put it on. Liz quickly got back into the room before he noticed she had been watching him, she never imagined that one day she would see him in shorts and a sweatshirt—from that distance, she wasn't able to see his scars.


	2. Chapter 2

Lizzie slept for seven hours, but she felt like she was hit by a truck. She was groggy and irritated, she never got more than five hours of sleep at the most. Her seven were interrupted immensely—too many nightmares and a lot to process didn't allow her to actually have some rest. She went downstairs and found Red seated on one of the armchairs in front of the television. He was concentrating on the content displayed on the screen, pressing the remote buttons, but there were no signs that he noticed her presence, even though the room was quiet and the waves outside were only slightly audible.

"Do you have anything for a headache?" Red took a quick breath and rapidly lifted his gaze to see her. His tongue rolled inside his mouth and his eyes searched for an answer. He frowned and smiled.

"I don't know, to be honest." He stood up and started to walk in her direction. He was wearing dark jeans and a shirt, unbuttoned at the top, She wondered if that was the way he wore himself when he was not being "social". Red touched her arm lightly when he was passing by so she would follow him to the kitchen. He opened a few doors before finding aspirin in the cabinet near the fridge. As he handed her the medicine, he opened the fridge and reached the orange juice jar left from the morning.

"You must be hungry. Teca prepared lunch, so you only need to heat it. Want some?" She held the fridge opened as Red stepped away with the jar and offered its content, but she declined. "You can prepare a sandwich if you prefer. Or-" he stopped, filled the empty jar with water, and looked at her "We can make some more _pães de queijo?_ " He smiled like a boy asking his grandmother for dessert. Liz smiled back.

"There's no need. Unless you want some," she said smiling. She took a can of Coke from the refrigerator to take the aspirin, hoping the caffeine would boost the medicine effect. Red looked as it was a letdown so he nodded and went back to the living room carrying his glass of juice.

"Let me show you something." Liz walked right after him. "This is our security system. We have cameras on the entire property and on the track. When any vehicle enters the track, it triggers the silent alarm, turning on multicolored LEDs on each room and on the deck, so we can check who comes closer. We're not allowed to isolate the beach, but we monitor who passes by. The wanderers are more frequent in the summer, not many of them venture themselves this time of the year around here. the surveillance covers two miles of the beach, also ready to activate the silent alarm. If someone gets too close and the video system isn't activated by one of us, the alarm bell goes on in three minutes." Liz was paying close attention the security detail. Red showed her the screen, she saw the entire outside of the house from different angles. Then he showed her the activated alarms: they were discreet, though none of them would pass unnoticed even from the beach. "The system can be activated from any of the rooms and the cameras are only outside."

"What about the water? I imagine it's not easier to access the house from the sea," Lizzie asked, knowing that Red hadn't been on the run for twenty years with loose ends in his contingency plans.

"I don't know if you already had the opportunity to check, but there are devices spread out over a mile radius that look like the Styrofoam used on the fishing nets in this region. They work basically in the same way as the others. Follow me, please," Red said getting up from the couch and offering her his hand so she could stand up easily. "It's planned so we can escape if anything happens. We have the SUV, ATVs, and a boat that can take us out of here fast enough." Red escorted her out of the house through the glass sliding door and from the deck pointed out to a storehouse at the north of the property.

"Our biggest vulnerability lies on an eventual air attack. There are sensors that can let us know if some aircraft comes too low, but we'll probably won't have enough time to run. In any case, if we can't escape..." he stopped to push the outside couch. During the last few days she came to believe Red was completely recovered from the shot and the surgery, but at that moment it was clear he put his own health and recovery in danger by running away with her. Liz helped him push the couch and opened the floor hatch. They went down the stairs and reached a panic room.

"We have here supplies to get us through a week. Once we're in, no one from the outside can access this room. Except Dembe and Mr. Kaplan, of course." She chuckled, of course they could access it, his rescue team, his most loyal allies and the ones responsible for Red's Pandora's Box. Raymond went to the surveillance center and picked up two small devices. "These are panic buttons. If anything happens, be sure to press it, Lizzie. The location of your device will be shown at the screen of mine."

Liz analysed it, it was as small as a USB flash drive. Nevertheless, there was something in his voice that made her unsure of it.

"It works the other way around, right?" Reddington confirmed with a nod and a grave semblance. "And will you press it? I need to know you will, Red." His sobriquet came out of her lips as a prayer, in a whisper. "This won't work if you don't let me do the same for you. We're a team, right? Isn't it what you wanted since day one?" He gulped and Elizabeth felt her face burning as tears began to sting her eyes. She sighed and choked up trying to articulate. "You're all I have, Red. I don't know if you wanted this, but there's no turning back now, this can't be undone. And I can't overcome this without you, I can't clearly see what this battle is that I'm fighting, but at this moment I'm fighting for my life, for _your_ life. And you're not even fully recovered yet. I just..." Liz stopped as she noticed her sentences weren't making sense anymore.

Raymond Reddington held his tears back. There was this intense feeling trying to come out of his chest, but he wouldn't let it out.

"I never wanted you to..." Reddington adopted the serious tone he often used, but stopped as she bluntly turned around and left the safe room.

Liz knew she acted like a child running away to avoid the conversation, but she wasn't ready to burst into tears in front of him. It was the first of God knows how many days where the two of them were alone together. If she learned something over those almost two years in which Reddington was in her life, it was that he never responded well to being cornered, it was always a lost battle doing it that way. On the other hand she knew that she could hold a grudge for some long and be a bitch about it. It was easier to handle that familiar conformation if she retreated and calmed herself down, she tried not to attack him when he showed himself ready to be as transparent as he considered possible. She always felt like he had specific timing for things, and she knew on an unconscious level that he would tell her everything in good time, but her lower self wanted answers, answers he wasn't ready to give. Liz knew as she retreated to her room that they both were in for the proverbial emotional roller coaster.


	3. Chapter 3

_Out for a walk._

 _You've forgotten this -_

 _If you need me, you know how to find me._

Those were the words written by Reddington on the note Liz found the night before on the dinner table. With the note, there was the panic button device she left behind when she argued with him. Apparently he decided he should carry his own as she asked him to do. After the previous events at the small bunker, she left her room only once so she could grab something to eat, hoping she wouldn't find him, because she still wasn't prepared to face him again. She couldn't take those written words out of her mind the next day.

She got out of the bed early that morning- she could hardly sleep after the light of day filled the room. She hadn't slept much, so she decided against more tossing and turning. She could barely look outside, the fluffy white clouds too bright to make anything out clearly. The palm trees outside were shaken by the full-force wind coming from the ocean. She decided a warm shower would be her best choice to effectively wake up . She put on leggings and a long sleeve blouse after her refreshing shower. The scent of fresh coffee coming from downstairs gave her the strength she needed to leave the room. She was unsure of how she would behave if she had to face Red, but it would happen sooner or later.

"Good morning, Miss Liz," Teca said with her regular wide smile. The Brazilian woman was wearing a coat as if a snow storm was coming, even if it felt like a fresh day to Liz. The two of them talked for a while-Teca told Liz about her family and how her three boys left home many years ago, after their father died when his fishing boat lost its battle to a storm. Teca's husband loved working on the sea despite all her fears, so she made his sons promise her that they wouldn't live like that. They moved out, but she couldn't leave the place where she was born and raised, she was made for that life, as was her husband, but not their children.

She told Liz that one day Reddington showed up on her door bringing a small _Yemanjá_ statue, a symbol of the Sea Protector, that once belonged to her husband. From that day on, he took care of her, provided her everything she would need. According to her, Raymond believed that he came around to help her, but she knew he was around when _he_ needed to be taken care of. It struck Liz, it wasn't often that she saw Red as a fragile being that needed care, even wounded he was extremely independent.

Once again there was a generous breakfast served that Liz ate until Teca left to take care of other tasks, so she refilled her cup of coffee and went to the beach. The breeze was chilly but gentle. The damp surface of the white sand cracked as Liz stepped over it and cooled her bare feet.

She sat facing the ocean, watching the waves come and go and continued sipping the hot coffee. She restrained herself against asking Teca were Reddington was; she wanted to know but she knew the woman would tell him she'd been looking for him. Liz was too proud, and their last encounter made her feel too exposed. The location device would be enough to give her the answer she wasn't even sure she was looking for.

Liz played with the fine sand, watching the incessant wind blowing it away. She lifted her gaze to the dark ocean and to the waves coming from the horizon.

"I love the ocean," Red said,pausing for awhile. "Endless possibilities to be explored." Liz didn't hear him getting closer, but it didn't spook her. He offered her a cup as he sipped from another one.

"It frightens me a little." Her reply came so naturally it impressed her a little. "I was never scared of the water, I had a lot of great times fishing with Sam, but we invariably went fishing on a river or lake." She stopped for a moment. "I think he knew I've never felt truly comfortable by the ocean, it's... I don't know… overwhelming." She ended in a sigh and tasted what she quickly identified as hot cocoa. Listening to her talking about Sam endeared Red. Sam wasn't perfect and Liz hated knowing about his criminal activities, yet he was the best father she could have asked for. The lack of a mother figure made it even more difficult, her childhood and teen years weren't the easiest ones, but Sam truly was a loving and dedicated father. Of all the wrongs Red did to Liz along her life, that was probably his greatest success.

Red sat by her side staring the ocean, his legs were crossed at the ankle and he rested on his strong arms. He was so close Liz could feel the heat radiating from him, with the slightest movement, they would have touched. She rested her elbows on her thighs, but the nearness made her elbow gently brush his leg every time she lifted her cup. Red kept silent as Liz continued.

"I've always preferred the sand, it's moldable and predictable, I guess the ocean is beyond my comprehension. I can't mold everything, I respect that, but I can't deal with its power, so I'd rather stay away. The ocean, its movements… it's beyond control."

"It's beautiful," he completed, fascinated. It was like she was describing herself, Red thought, but he didn't know if she was aware of it. The silence then was only disturbed by the ocean serenade. As they spent more and more time together, the quiet companion became more comfortable than before. Liz felt calm and didn't mind his presence, she thought she was angry with him, but now she realised all she needed was that, having him beside her.

"Lizzie," Red called her name in a husky tone, "I'm sorry for last night. I wasn't expecting your concern and didn't know how to react," he paused. "You were right, there's no turning back on this road; things didn't go exactly as I expected but I don't regret any of it. You already know how this will work and _I_ was the one not acting accordingly." It wasn't frequent having Red expressing his feelings without lecturing her and Liz didn't wasn't sure how to deal with that. She smiled inconspicuously and shook her head.

"You haven't said or done anything" Liz said, turning to face him, but he kept staring at the ocean, with his chin slightly raised. His silence and the small head movement could easily break her during an argument, but at that moment she could see it as a sign of his own vulnerability. It wasn't usual for her-not wanting to kill him as his mannerisms showed themselves ; in spite of that, she admired his strong jawline decorated by the stubbly skin. A few inches below was the small pointy scar she gave him the day they met, she had forgotten about the evidence of their rough start, and seeing it made her want to touch the scarred tissue. Escaping his black shirt collar was another scar, the one that contained his tracking chip, extracted on a moving ambulance. His squint drew fine lines around his eyes as the greyish sea caught his gaze.

She turned to stare at the waves soaking the sand, the breakers coming closer and closer to them: a few more minutes they would have to move in order to stay dry. Before the water reached them, Red stood up and wiped his hands on his pants to brush away the sand. He sauntered toward the water and watched his feet being covered by the chilly liquid, and then buried under the sand as the water drew back, not caring about the wet fabric of his pants. Liz continued observing his movements, his devotion to the daring fluid, as he squatted to touch the surface with his fingertips, cupping some of it and watching it drain between his fingers.

"I don't know if I've ever thanked you." " He got back up on his feet and faced her.

"Why should you?" he asked intrigued.

"For telling me the truth. For _showing_ me the truth, at least some of it." She paused, choosing her words. "You thanked me once for being honest with you and I only truly understood the meaning of it recently. I've guided my life under certain values that apparently I've been unworthy of. You take honesty for granted, as if everybody would behave as you do and live under the values you live, only to discover it was all a ruse. "

Reddington stopped in front of her, showing a grave semblance.

"You're not, Lizzie," he said vigorously shaking his head. "you're _not_ unworthy. You can't mold everything as if it were sand, not because you're not able, but simply because they're not moldable, you said that yourself. That's not your fault." Their eyes stayed locked. "You're worthy. And one day you'll understand why things are the way they are, then you'll see nobody will ever be as good as you are. You don't pretend Lizzie, that's why you deserve honesty in return. Red kept staring her, hoping that she could internalize that, but she avoided his looks and prepared to get up.

"Well, I guess I'm going for a walk" she collected the cup from the ground and found Red offering his hand to help her stand up. He gripped her wrist tightly and pulled her up; he could feel the rough skin of her palm and wrist against his cold hand. He couldn't help but lightly brush her scar as he slowly loosen the grip. "Would you mind carrying this inside for me?" she asked. "Maybe I'll get lucky and find a reason to never leave this place." She forced a little smile and gave him a playful look as she turned away, heading left on the beach.

"Don't go too far North." His tone was severe.

"Why?" Lizzie asked alarmed.

"A mile up from here there's a nudist beach. You may find your reason to stay." A smile continued stamped on his face as he added on a relaxed voice. "At least a wrong one."

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 **A/N:** Last night I re-watched for the first time "The Kenyon Family", then I realized why it felt so right Red seeing the ocean as "endless possbilities". It wasn't intentional, but it was pretty much the ground zero for this story, so I'm going on with it. In any case, I still don't own nothing regarding The Blacklist.

Thank you for being around.


End file.
